Thursday, May 20, 2010

Confession.

It's time to face facts. I have a few issues.

Writing it down does not make me feel better.

I am up and down and down and up and it's the dumbest fucking things that set it off. I simultaneously want to disappear to somewhere new without looking back and embrace my life here and never let go. I hate the skanky bitches at the bar, but bum out when I'm not getting their attention. I want so much to have a lifelong connection with someone, but shy away from the great women I date. I want to lose this fucking weight, but cannot stop thinking about food. Cannot. Stop.

Maybe I cover it up with humor. I love to make people laugh, but do I do that because I need to fill some void? I don't fucking know. Do I want to see every pair of tits I ever met shaking in my face because I just like tits, or is it because I need attention? I don't know. Do I wait to sing at Karaoke until everyone is a little buzzed and ready for a singer because I like to perform or because I want their eyes on me? I'm pretty sure it's the latter. I have no idea where I get attention issues. And they don't always arise...but when it happens I spin right the fuck out.

A hard ass workout in the morning will cure this, I hope.

No comments:

Post a Comment